1. You quickly learn that the bus is the preferable choice of transport over the tube (not during rush hour of course.)

2. But if possible, you’ll walk. It’s cheaper and probably quicker anyway.

3. Going out on a saturday is no longer a thing, due to extortionate club entry prices. You’d much rather drink in your shitty kitchen anyway and wake up with all your cutlery mysteriously missing…

4. Your walking speed will at least double. Dawdling is for tourists.

5. Your new found walking speed will indicate to tourists that you are local and therefore they will stop you and ask for directions. Most of the time you will just point in a general direction and hope that you’re right for their sake.

6. You no longer choke in surprise when the bartender tells you the price of the Jägerbomb you’ve just ordered and simply pull out your wallet.

7. You automatically hate the person on the escalator whom has chosen not to stand on the right and wish on them impending doom.

8. You will misplace your Oyster card at least 4 times a day.

9. You will undoubtedly make it out the house twice a week before having to retrace your steps and pick up your forgotten Oyster card. (Or my student card/building key card..)

10. You will give up on the hope of being snapped for Vogues “street style” section. It’s all lies. 11. You will walk past a famous person at least once a week. 3/5 times you won’t be able to remember their name, or what they’ve appeared in, but you will tell your flatmates that they were “definitely famous.”

12. You adopt a RBF (resting bitch face) whilst you walk to avoid being approached by people with clipboards.

13. The lengths you will go to avoid these clip board people will surprise you. (A friend was once walking past a bus stop, when he was approached by a clip boarder clutcher. He dealt with it rationally and jumped on the first random bus that pulled in.)

14. You will fall over, a lot. The uneven streets, cobbles, curbs and the bustle of people wreck havoc on ones stability. (OMG YES!!!)

15. People suddenly want to visit you, like, all the time.

16. People that visit are then surprised at how small your room is/ how expensive everything is and you find yourself repeating the phrase “Well, it is London” like a parrot.

17. Your Instagram will become overloaded with pictures of famous landmarks from different angles and in different lights. Who cares if this is the fourth time you posted a picture from Waterloo Bridge this week, it’s pretty.

18. You will change your ‘location’ on all social media to London, just incase your friends and family haven’t seen all your Instagram posts.

19. You will have too much to do, and too little time. You find that you’ve agreed to go to three different events on a Wednesday, and try to calculate if it’s feasible to get from Regent Street, to Tower Hill and up to Camden in one night to cram it all in. It’s not.

20. City Mapper becomes your bible. If it’s servers went down, that would be the end of life as you know it. 21. Pret becomes your natural meeting place for everything. There is one every 250m, it’s an obvious choice.

22. You therefore quickly become bored of Pret sandwiches.

23. You get a very smug feeling whenever one of your favourite bands announces a special show and of course, it’s in London and only 20 minutes journey door to door.

24. You can be as spontaneous as you like. You might be sat in the kitchen on a monday evening in your pyjamas, and half an hour later you’ll be walking into the O2 arena.

25. You become very flexible with plans. Sometimes the bar/restaurant you had planned on going to is full, so you wander until you find somewhere else. There is no point getting frustrated, just try the next bar along.

26. You will fall in love with someone every time you get on the tube, but will never make eye contact for fear of breaking the unspoken social laws. Unrequited love becomes a big part of everyday life.

27. Hand sanitiser becomes your best friend and god forbid you ever leave home without it.

28. Cooking seems completely unnecessary when there are so many restaurants, so close to home.

29. You will visit Oxford Street at least once a week, complain about the tourists and either cry because you’ve purchased everything in UNIQLO (or New look again) and will be eating beans for the rest of the week, or because you can’t afford anything and it’s all so pretty.

30. You will remind yourself every time you are wedged on the tube, underneath someones sweaty armpit, that it’s worth it, because you’re living the dream.

London | London | |